Document 13: 29 June 1862, Displeasurable Visit With Dan

Author: Emilie E. Palmer

Date: 29 June 1862

Location: Emilie E. Palmer 1859 Diary, Record Group 19/2, Oberlin College Archives

Document Type: Autograph Document

Introduction:

Palmer receives disheartening news from Dan. He thinks of her as only a friend, insulting and infantilizing her. Her interest in Dan builds throughout her second diary; two months earlier, her entry describes an evening spent with Dan: “Had a very good visit; wonder if it is wrong for me to encourage his attentions. I like him and that is all.”¹ Daniel C. Gould attended Oberlin College in 1835 and 1836, making him 23 years older than her; this further suggests why would call her “silly.” Like her hope for the Civil War in which she believed “the right will triumph,” she felt her relationship with Dan would also “be right in time.” Her faith was a means to an end, which resonated throughout her life. Although Dan’s lack of marital intentions crushed Palmer, future diary entries show she did not stop caring for him.

Transcription:

June 29th

[Lines omitted]

I sat upon the stage in the afternoon and this I suppose offended Dan. At least when I came down he did not appear as usual, did not come near me for some time and then came and said he supposed he should see me at the visit. I told him I did not know. Well then said he, “Good bye, if I don’t see you again,” and turned carelessly away. I had not thought of anything else but that he would accompany me to the visit. Miss Coburn² was with him but I did not think of that as a hindrance. Indeed, and I am not alone in it, I think he had given me reason to expect it. I thought of him as an escort as a matter of course without looking at the reasons or at all analyzing my feelings.

[Lines omitted]

I went to the visit and spent the evening in a kind of dream, just one thought occupying my mind. Dan came and asked me to promenade with him. For one moment I was happy, as I placed my hand upon his arm and felt that I was with him again, but it was only for a moment; and though I [illegible] and laughed and [illegible] jokes, and no doubt everyone thought me very happy, I was far from it. Dan with more words than ever before assured me of his friendship, but it was all useless. He came home with me and on the way home gave me to understand that he thought of me only as he did all his other lady friends, and also that he thought me rather silly. Ah! that was bitterest of all and so undeserved. He asked me to write often and kissed me goodnight, but it was only a [illegible]. Many were the bitter tears. Behind that no one will ever know. Maybe it will all be right in time.

Transcribed by Natalia Shevin

¹15 April 1861, Emilie E. Palmer Diary.

²Jennie Coburn, a Black Oberlin College student who was enrolled in the preparatory from 1862 to 1863 and from 1865 to 1868, and the college from 1868-1869. The other mention of Coburn in Palmer’s diary expressed Palmer’s Christian responsibility, “Jennie’s heart was very tender tonight and I wanted to say a word to her but I did not. I know not why, and thus I continually let opportunities for doing good pass unimproved.” (“Catalogue and Record of Colored Students, 1835-62,” Oberlin College Archives, Web address, accessed 25 June 2015; 16 March 1862, Emilie E. Palmer Diary).

The projects on this site all began as class assignments. Students work together in teams of two or three work together to create a “mini-edition” based on documents in the Oberlin College Archives identified by Professor Lasser and Archivist Ken Grossi for their potential to illuminate aspects of feminisms. Each student individually selects a document from the team’s collection, transcribes and annotates it, and produces a headnote for it. Together, the members of the team cooperate to write an introduction to the project identifying how the contents contribute to understanding the history of American feminisms.

Before posting on this site, all projects received editorial attention from Professor Lasser. Jen Graham OC 2013 assisted with mini-editions completed in Spring 2013. Hanna Van Reed OC 2015 assisted the Spring 2015 class, and Summer 2015 Student Editors, Rebecca Debus, Natalia Shevin and Joanna Wiley-- all OC 2017--edited and extended projects completed in Spring 2015.

See the projects here...

Oberlin College History Professor Carol Lasser teaches “First Wave American Feminisms” and “Second Wave American Feminisms.” Each of these courses investigates the social movements, political thought, and the changing trajectories of power for women, situating female gendered persons in changing intersectional contexts, including race, religion, region, class, sexuality, household status and citizenship. Students in the class work with primary documents in order to better understand how race, class, gender, sexuality, and historical moment shape notions of gender justice, and to experience first-hand how historians make sense of evidence.