Jan 10 1922-
I seem to have great diary waves. Three months without writing here and now all of a sudden an overwhelming desire-
Charlie was up Sunday and the chasm was bridged. I knew that everything would be alright if I saw him again. It was my disgusting pride last year and nothing else. He is a perfect [saint?] and our understanding and sympathy is stronger & more perfect than ever. It seems as though things were happening to force us to-gether [sic]. His father died two weeks before the Princeton game. [Dave?] told me at the party Fri night. I felt hideously because he pulled me through Hell last winter and I had always prayed that some time I might have the opportunity to help him and in a small way show him my eternal appreciation.
We talked about it Sun[day]. He said How [sic] foreign death had seemed to him last winter and that his whole being was bursting with love and affection for me but that he just didn’t know what to do. I really & truly love him very much- But I have that strange undefinate [sic] feeling I had last year about him. I often-too often- wonder if I will ever be happy. I’m far from it now. I long for something I haven’t got. I guess its [sic] affection and appreciation. I really must stop thinking about myself. You should enjoy life, people, [daily?] things and stop this continual disgusting self pitying.
Bettie M. is engaged to [Jamie?] Johnston_ She seems very happy- one by one my friends are getting theirs. What ever [sic] happens I will not marry some one [sic] anyone just to be married. I know I never never will. I hope I shall find some one [sic] some day [sic] because I don’t think a woman no matter how brilliant a career she may have is ever happy- really happy with [inserted with a carrot: out] a husband home & children. A husband with a perfect understanding.
Bettie is a darling girl and I love her. She would make any man very happy. Ide [sic] make any man miserable. I do love Charlie_